Dear Vegetarians,
please stop reinforcing
our knowledge that you are vegetarian,
we know you are.
You aren’t God’s gift to mankind.
You’re just vegans with less self control.
If God had meant for us to be vegetarians,
we wouldn’t have had the enzymes,
required to digest meat.

Dear Vegans,
please stop being
extremist fanatics.
You are doing a great deed by being vegan,
but no need to shove it down my throat.
If you want to be healthy it is alright,
if you want to promote it, alright,
if you will kill me and my grandchildren if I eat chicken,
not alright.

Dear meat eaters, sorry,
carnivores, I beg your pardon,
non-vegetarians.
Quit pretending the only food in the world,
is something that used to
move around, make sounds and breathe.
They are dead. It was a bloodbath.
What you are eating was probably beheaded.
Don’t be so glad that you are eating a disinfected carcass.
Respect the dead.
Remember their last words. “SQUAWK!”

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